super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
