I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
