I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
