I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
