She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
