Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
