bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
