found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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