Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
