Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
