white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
