So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
