nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
