Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
