Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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