I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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