Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish you could order shots online.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
