At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
