guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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