Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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