Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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