are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my liver is dry heaving
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
