i just google imaged poop.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
