I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
nutella sex= disaster
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
