YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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