turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
