if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
