fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
