so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
