i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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