I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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