He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
