I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
