My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
