They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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