To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
