**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
literally had 100 drinks last night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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