My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
