i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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