i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Pants are for mortals
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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