I cockslap morals
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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