So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
