Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
