And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
