Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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