Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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