I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
