just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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