I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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