he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I would fuck him just for his dog
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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