Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
