Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
