Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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