I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
