it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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